


If This Is It, Let Me Know

by QueenTheatrics



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy Santiago loves Jake Peralta, F/M, Jake's dad comes around, Love Stories, Seasons, how do you tag, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 12:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7463847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenTheatrics/pseuds/QueenTheatrics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spring is just starting when Jake's dad comes around again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If This Is It, Let Me Know

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy my incessant ramblings and appreciate how much both Amy Santiago and I love Jake Peralta.

#### SPRING

Spring is just starting when Jake's dad comes around again. It's been almost a whole year since the last time, and Jake remembers it in the way his eyes stung with pollen, remembers the constant tickle in his nose. Spring that year was full of orange blossoms, full of weeds frantically claiming the cracks in the sidewalks, full of hope that a family long lost could somehow be retrieved. Jake won't make that mistake again. 

Amy, this year, gets a window box, because there's no garden in her third floor walk-up, because she likes flowers, because they're just plants, how hard can it be? As it turns out, ridiculously hard. The only reason she has any flowers to speak of is because Jake has a surprisingly green thumb, and he's been showing up at her apartment two and three times a week to avoid his dad, with take out in one hand and case files he really, really shouldn't be taking out of the precinct in the other, and she only lets him in because she loves her job and he knows her favourite takeout places. Really. 

Jake's dad leaves in the same way he arrives, without fanfare or pleasantries. Jake arrives home from work one day and sees the suitcase gone from the hall, and doesn't dare to hope for even a goodbye note as a courtesy. He stays in his doorway long enough to take in the scene, and then he's turning, locking the door, and stopping at Amy's favourite Polish takeout on the route to her apartment. 

Amy's loved Jake since the moment she met him, with a feverish sort of certainty that she could never quite wrap her head around. It isn't until much later - years later - that it all makes sense, and by that point she's in too deep to change anything, because Amy loves Jake but she likes him just as much, and it's his friendship she values above all else. Their partnership isn't something she can risk until she's sure she can predict the outcome. So she waits. She waits until she's sure, until the day that Jake has his heart broken by his father again, and the first person he comes is to her with a takeout bag and a face that says _don't ask_. So she asks, and then she's sure, and then she waits some more.

Amy kisses the teasing grin off Jake's face when the days are getting longer and the flowers are in full bloom. He gets real quiet for a minute, and Amy's anxiety spikes in her already thrumming heart, but then he turns his gaze to her, full on, and she's kind of overwhelmed by the sheer adoration sparkling in his eyes. 

After that, Jake and Amy officially become what they've pretty much always been, and it's hard sometimes, but it works because they want it to, because of the natural push and pull of their relationship, because they may be polar opposites but it just means they fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.

#### SUMMER

Summer comes in hot, and her window box flowers come in strong, and Amy buys factor 50 sunscreen and a hat that says I <3 NY on it from a street vendor on her way to work. Jake chokes on his coffee when he sees it, and that reaction is almost worth the $4 dollars she spent on it and the weird looks from the folks on the subway. 

That summer, Amy takes an ancestry class and Amy tries to teach Jake Spanish in order to get more in touch with her roots. He's so terrible at it that she nearly declares him a lost cause, but he's so earnest, so determined, that she perseveres and eventually, after much trying, he can hold a basic conversation and swear impressively. He comes into work one day and says "How you doin, foxy mama?" in Spanish to Rosa, who smacks him in the shoulder hard enough to bruise.

Jake loves it when Amy speaks Spanish. He loves the way the language rolls off her tongue, natural as breathing, the way she'll forget herself mid-conversation and slip into it, and swear, loudly, when she realises what she's done. He loves laying his head in her lap when she's on the phone with her mother, letting the words wash over him as she runs her fingers gently through his hair. It's the closest thing he gets to being quiet, both in and out of his head.

In July, Amy tells Jake she loves him, and he tells her he's only staying with her because he really likes her dentist. He later tells her he loves her _so much_ and Amy gets mad at him for outdoing her. Amy doesn't know when it happened, that the immature man child she was forced to be partnered with became the best and brightest thing in her life. She tries to think back across the seasons, but she can hardly come up with a time when Jake wasn't there, forcing splashes of colour into her black-and-white world.

Kylie insists on coming over for something she calls 'Midsummer Movie Night Pizza Jamboree', - which, quite frankly, sounds terrifying to Jake - and explains that they eat pizza and watch only films that contain the word "summer" in the title. Kylie, who is infinitely weirder than Amy in ways Jake never thought was possible, introduces herself as though she's never met Jake before. Which she has, many, many times, and several times since Jake and Amy started dating. Halfway through 'Wet Hot American Summer', Kylie, sitting between Jake and Amy on Amy's two seater couch, starts up a relentless tirade of weird, invasive questions. Jake can barely spare Amy a confused glance before he's pressed to answer, and she just looks at him as if to say _it's your funeral_. By the time they reach '(500) Days of Summer' - and Kylie makes an approving noise in the back of her throat when he says he thinks the main guy is an asshole - Jake's pretty sure he's managed to win Kylie over.  
"And what are your intentions with Amy?" She eventually says, a faux serious frown on her face. Jake can see Amy freeze behind Kylie's head. He shrugs.  
"I just want to be with her. However she needs and wants me." He says, and a smile spreads over both women's faces. Kylie squeals and hugs him, and then tells them both to shut up so they can finish watching the movie. She leans forward to get a better look at Zooey Deschanel's face, and Amy grins at him from behind her. Jake leans over and squeezes her fingers. 

The day after that, Jake calls his dad, and it rings four times before it goes to voicemail. Jake doesn't leave a message.

#### AUTUMN

When Estefania and Federico Santiago hear that Jake is coming to dinner, they insist that all seven of their sons, their son's significant others and their children also be present for the event. Jake, coming from a family of about two and a half people, is completely out of his depth. Amy gives him a ridiculous amount of useful advice before they go in such as _"Cedro was in a naked firefighters charity calendar - do NOT ask him about it or he'll never shut up"_ and _"if you try to call Ernesto 'Ernie' he will smack you and there's nothing I can do to prevent that"_ and _"Manny is having relationship problems with his boyfriend and will ask you for advice but don't give him any, please, or I will kill you and so will his boyfriend, probably"_. Jake remembers precisely none of it, and manages to fuck up about five times in the first ten minutes, but Amy's mum adores him and pinches his cheeks and gives Amy the _Look_ \- the one that all mothers have that says she approves. 

Amy's brothers are harder to please. Jake's already met a few of them from neighbouring precincts - Carlos and Federico Jr have partnered with them on a case before, which was weird for Amy. Yoenis and Yasiel, the twins -  
_("Don't ask," Amy rolls her eyes. "Their names are a hangover from this Generación Y trend during the Cold War. I'm lucky my name's Amada,")_  
\- showed up at Amy's birthday party last year, proceeded to get absolutely rip-roaring drunk, and embarrassed Amy so thoroughly that she didn't talk to them for a month. Jake isn't sure how he feels about them.  
All of them are bold and loud, all of them are outrageous, and all of them are furiously protective of their sister. Jake finds himself questioned within an inch of his life about every topic under the sun, and even Carlos's wife, Mariposa, and Cedro's boyfriend Henry join in the assault. There are questions about his job, his parents, his _grandparents_ , his dating history -  
_("And your parents are fine with... You know, Jake the bisexual?"_  
_"Of course, babe, Cedro came out as bi around the same time he decided to be a firefighter. My dad said 'dating men is fine. Becoming a firefighter is unforgivable'."_  
_"I kind of know what they mean, Ames. Firefighters are the WORST.")_  
\- his diet and exercise regime, what he watches on television after a long day at work. Amy's father even narrows his eyes and asks his what his favourite cop movie is. Jake clears his throat and answers, "Die Hard, sir'" with a respectful nod. Federico gives him a long, thoughtful look and then goes back to his dinner.  
"That's his way of saying he approves," Amy whispers in Jake's ear. 

It's busy and crowded and hot and loud with fifteen people packed around the dinner table. It's vastly different than anything he's ever experienced. His family dinners usually consist of him and his mum chatting quietly, and on occasion, his Great-Aunt stopping in to tell him he needs to eat more vegetables while he tells his mum about his latest cases, carefully leaving out the gruesome bits because they're eating. In this room, the discussion is graphic and chaotic. There's about five different conversations happening at once, and at least two languages being spoken at any given moment. Jake understands about 30% of what is going on and he loves every minute of it. When he and Amy leave late that night, bellies full of good food and minds buzzing from the company, Estefania hugs Jake tight and close and whispers in his ear that he's always welcome back. Jake flushes scarlet to his ears and looks down at the ground, embarrassed and humbled. Amy makes their excuses after that and pulls him bodily down the street. 

They walk home that night under the stars, Amy's arm looped through Jake's and her head on his shoulder. When they reach her apartment he kisses her in the doorway, long and deep and loving. He tells her thank you, and he means it, and when he goes to sleep later that night, it's with a feeling of belonging unfurling in his chest.

Jake's phone rings the next morning, and it's his dad, and he picks it up with a grin, only to hear _"oh, sorry, Jake, wrong number"_ before the gloomy beep of the dial tone. 

 

Hallowe'en, and Amy agrees to do a couples costume with Jake so long as she can choose what it is. He immediately vetoes her suggestion that they dress up as 'a couple sitting in on Hallowe'en watching movies' and eventually, after much needling, she decides on Han and Leia, to Jake's sincere, surprised delight. Boyle throws a party, because of course he does, complete with bobbing for apples, a costume parade, and a buffet table filled with cuisine from at least seven different countries. Amy brings along some of her mother's food (it is only eaten once everyone has verified that Amy herself did not have anything to do with cooking), and she has fun on Hallowe'en, in spite of herself. Jake is designated driver, and she gets a little tipsy, and when they get back to her apartment she forces him to carry her up three flights of stairs and then won't let him leave. He puts up a token protest, but his drunk, giggly girlfriend is too much fun to resist, and he spends the rest of the night being beaten at Monopoly by Amy Santiago: Loan Shark.

Amy wakes up in the morning with a skunk apparently dead in her mouth and a solid, sleeping Jake beneath her. She kisses him with morning breath because she can make jokes too, goddamit, and Jake groans and rolls her over, tickling her within an inch of her life. Amy feels happy, deliriously so, and she's almost ridiculously angry that it's because of _Hallowe'en._

#### WINTER

The holiday season seems to last forever, and then pass in the blink of an eye. The gang allows Amy to throw Thanksgiving at her apartment again, with the caveat that Boyle cooks the meal, and Amy stays at least ten feet from the kitchen at all times. Holt stops in, briefly, and Amy manages to give a toast without choking, and none of the turkey ends up down the toilet. All in all, it's about 50% less of a disaster than last time. As they're eating, everyone talks about what they're thankful for. Terry says, "My wife and my baby girls." Charles says, "The intestinal tract of the pig." Jake kisses Amy on the cheek and just says, "You," and Amy blushes to the roots of her hair. It is late into the night by the time Amy sees everyone to the door. Gina and Rosa leave together, which is something she and Jake are going to discuss at _length_ later, and Amy feels a happy buzz that has nothing to do with the wine settle in her stomach when she collapses into her bed. 

After the Christmas season has passed, and with it the madness of the holiday rush in the precinct, Amy and Jake take a moment to breathe, and relax, and reevaluate. They talk, and make a decision. 

 

Jake moves in in January. He brings with him four Steely Dan records, a massage chair missing an arm rest, and a credit score that would make an accountant weep. He also brings with him an undeniable light and warmth to her apartment, which it's never had in all the years she's lived there. Amy turns over a new leaf and has all of her doilies thrown out by January 29th. She even gets Gina and Rosa over to tell her what could be considered collectible and what is just for old people. Jake turns over a new leaf, too, and starts going to the gym, stops eating candy for breakfast, stops eating candy for lunch, stops eating candy for dinner. He starts reading books, dyslexia be damned, and picks up audiobooks to listen to on the treadmill. It doesn't take him long to work through the entire collected works of Jane Austen, and declare Lizzy Bennet his personal hero.

Holt invites them for dinner one Tuesday in February, and for once, Amy doesn't freak out. It's like every crazy thing she's done, every crazy thing Jake has ever had her do, has prepared her for this moment. She wears a blue dress and Jake wears a tie, and he looks so handsome and happy standing on the Captain's doorstep, illuminated by the porch light, that she feels her chest swell with pride. 

Dinner is calm and pleasant, and Amy just about manages not to embarrass herself in front of Holt. She still feels kind of awkward, but she always, always does, and she's not sure that it'll ever go away, for either of them. Amy worships Holt and the very ground he walks on, and whether it's justified or not, she couldn't say. Jake needs Holt's approval just as much as her, if not more, but it goes deeper for him. She knows without anyone telling her that Holt is the first stable father figure Jake has had in a long time.

Later that month, Jake's mum helps them paint their living room, and the three of them spend a weekend holed up together, breathing in paint fumes and giggling like fools. Karen buys them their paint, because she insists, and brings over her own good brushes to use, because that's just who she is. Karen Peralta is the kind of person who comes over for Jake and stays to see Amy. She's the kind of person who shows up at their door with a brand new saucepan, because she remembered Amy mentioning hers was scratched last time they had dinner. She's the kind of person who'll text Amy when Jake has a cold, because she just knows that Amy will have caught it too. Amy _adores_ her. 

The walls are now a soft sea foam green, and Amy feels a wave of calm wash over her every time she looks at them. Her apartment is almost unrecognisable, with Jake's stuff mingled in with hers. It looks much, much better, but she has to admit she's surprised she doesn't miss the old style as much as she thought she would. Things aren't perfect, though - there are still cracks in the ceiling, and the paintwork needs finishing in at least two of the rooms. The flowers in the window box are nothing but mulch. The day they finish painting, Jake gets a postcard from his dad that says _'wish you were here'_ , on the front, but nothing in the postcard indicates that he does.

#### SPRING

Spring comes around again with a desperate kind of fervour. Yellow blossoms bloom in Amy's window box, helped by Jake, whose despair at Amy's lack of green thumb is of constant amusement to her. Jake's dad comes around again and the blossoms wither and die as he crosses the threshold. Amy throws out the window box. She tells herself it's because it's too hard to maintain (which it is) and it makes too much mess (which it does) but she knows, deep down, it's because she can't look at it anymore without seeing Jake, in his slippers and Spider-Man pyjamas, dropping the watering can to the floor because his dad has just showed up at their apartment without warning. 

Jake lets his father in, into their home and their kitchen and his heart and his life. Amy wishes she was surprised, but she isn't, because she knows Jake, better than she knows anyone, knows that Jake will never be able to turn his father away, because Jake forgives but he doesn't forget. Jake is a mess of fear and good intentions; Jake puts his faith in people but mostly in her, and Amy can see it sometimes in the way he looks at her, like she's the last good thing he knows.

Roger Peralta swoops into their lives like an eagle snatching its prey, and Amy gets a chance to watch the two men interact. Jake is more like his dad than he realises, though Amy would never, ever say it. Jake finds out how far he can go and then goes one step further, just to see what happens. Jake is a pusher, a needler, a whiner and a tease and Jake wants things and Jake gets them but, unlike his father, he's never cruel, he's never callous, he's never, ever, anything less than wonderful. Jake is his father's son but he's also his mother's, and it's his mother's influence that makes him strong. 

When Jake's father leaves this time, turning his back on his son like he always does, Jake is quiet and subdued for two days. The precinct relishes the peace they get, but to Amy, the silence is deafening. By the third day, he's cracking jokes again, and Captain Holt has stopped giving her meaningful looks when Jake's back is turned. If asked, Jake would deny anything was wrong, deny the influence of the man who has broken Jake's heart more often than he visits the dentist, deny that he gets his hopes up every time, only to have them shattered. Because Jake is healing. It's slow going, sure, but he is. And Amy can see it in the way the vice grip Jake's father has on his son's heart loosens a little every time he comes around.

All of a sudden, Amy looks up and a year has passed. Jake and Amy's first anniversary is quiet, and Charles is the only one at work who says anything, to their sincere relief. They chase a criminal on foot for thirteen blocks in the morning, and Amy, later, has to wrestle a guy who's been literally caught stealing candy from babies to the ground. By mutual agreement, their anniversary date night is spent on the couch watching Die Hard, and Amy watches Jake's face rather than the film as he quotes the lines along with the actors. When John McClane says _"yippekiyay, motherfucker!"_ Amy leans over and kisses Jake, hard, and the rest of the film is lost on them.

Jake calls his dad in the morning, gets his voicemail again, and this time he does leave a message, full of a few choice phrases which make Amy blush red. Jake's dad doesn't come around after that, and Jake can't bring himself to care because he realises, for the first time, that he has a family that loves him and wants him, and he doesn't need his dad to complete it.

 

 

 


End file.
